Recently, I was having a rough day. The past was just beating me up!
So I bought lunch for myself at a local restaurant to cheer me up. The food
was good and the service was slow....maybe I was in a hurry. The next morning, I
realized my wallet was nowhere to be found. I even drove to my office prior to a
meeting looking for my wallet. I was also, watching out for the police...no wallet and driving! 

  So I called my credit card company to find out if any large purchases had been made--none!
So I called the restaurant prior to opening for lunch and after a few questions....they told me
my red wallet was in their safe! Three teenage boys turned it in and the restaurant employee
placed in their safe. Was that luck? Karma? Moon and stars aligned?

 No, it was life. I was having a rough day so I was not paying attention to my belongings and
I dropped it in the restaurant's parking lot. What made this different and revealing? I believe faith.
Someone influenced these teenage boys and restaurant employees to do what’s right.
Hope that even though life seems bleak at times there are glimmers of Christ in all of us.

 Have you been in a stressful situation which left a mark in your story?
 I have experienced three fires in my life time. The first one was when I was ~8yrs old, the stove caught on fire. We were watching Emergency 24 at the time so watching the firemen just added to evening. My parents were thankful they paid the voluntary fire department dues that year. The second one was when I was working at Nestle and I drove home to find 4 fire engines at my duplex. I had friends help me move and provide a bed so it was easier to swallow being displaced. The last fire started at 2:30am Sunday morning and 20 units in an
apartment building were affected. This one I sat and watched the flames creep underneath the roof and quickly burn the building. It was totally out of my control and I just had to sit and wait. Then slowly sort thru my
belongings-water and smoke damaged while the smell of mold was permeating the building. I didn’t realize the smell of smoke or the sound of fire truck sirens or alarms would affect me so strongly.  

  When I began studying for my licensure exam symptoms began showing up. Several times I would wake up smelling smoke and need to check the oven. Or wake up smelling smoke with my heart racing and running out of my bedroom.  Or hear the fire truck sirens and positively know my house was on fire. I felt as though I was going crazy! I wouldn’t go anywhere without my cell phone.

 What I learned was I had Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a severe anxiety disorder those can develop after exposure to any event that results in psychological trauma. Diagnostic symptoms for PTSD include
re-experiencing the original trauma(s) through flashbacks or nightmares, avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma, and increased arousal—such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger, and hypervigilance. Formal
diagnostic criteria (both DSM-IV-TR and ICD-10) require that the symptoms last more than one month and cause significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder)

 What helped me get past the PTSD was counseling, exercise, EMDR, Brainspotting, self-talk, supportive friends, faith and time. It did not stop overnight. It was a gradual decrease in sensitivity to the smell and sound. Even to this day when I am stressed, my sensitivity to the smell and sound increase and I utilize skills learned to soothe myself.

A new season has begun. The one season I wasn't ready for nor am I able to slow it down.
The season of entering into the world of aging.
We all begin to feel and see the changes in our body and mind. No special drink or foods will prevent the inevitable of our deterioration. We can slow the aging process down but we can never stop it. Ugh!
The extra ripple or even wrinkle sometimes seems to happen over night! Our energy level begins to wane while our memory begins to slowly slow down. 
We have all experienced it or walked with someone living it.
It is scary to begin walking with a loved one through this season. What you see and what you don't want to see-the changes in them. It's really not the physical changes, its the heart and mind changes that are so powerful.
At one time, you were the child and now you have become their guardian. When do you begin to take on more responsibility, more follow-ups and more care giving?
There is no book or manual for this season. But most of all, how do you take care of your heart and soul? With whom do you share this emotional roller-coaster? How do you keep your boundaries healthy? Who is your God? Who is your Idol?
Hard questions to a soften heart.